Thursday, December 29, 2016

Movin' on from Bullpen mom

Good afternoon! Thanks to my good friends, family, and readers for encouraging me to write again. I have to say that I have not been motivated and sadly, I did not know why...until now.....


Huh? "Why now?", you may ask (or not ask, but I will tell you anyway)....Well, I have had two days off. Yes, the number is two. I did not think about work as I stared at my Christmas tree. Further, I listened to my new Google voice activated system that plays songs for me upon verbal request. That's right. I do not even have to turn it on. I say aloud "OK, Google, play Simon and Garfunkel for me." And Ms. Google plays S&G. Now hopefully, you will be able to follow my convoluted logic.....



During the last two days, I have been trying to work up the energy to write. But something was stopping me. So, I began to perform self-analysis. Yes, as a doctor, I have a fool for a patient, but I digress.....

So, I am thinking.....and thinking...and thinking some more.....my head was beginning to hurt...

Here is my response....I think that I was in a rut. Perhaps I was a bit depressed. Maybe my lack of initiative had something to do with Big M passing on. His death was a tremendous blow to me...more so than I admitted. I kept it to myself and did not share with anyone because I knew that they were suffering too. Who needs to worry about me? No one. So, I kept quiet.

OK, so I lost Big M....then BP Grandmom had the battle of her life as she did everything to kill some unwanted cancer cells in her body. She lost her hair, but she did not lose the battle as she is currently cancer free. That's what I said....cancer free. Dang, she is a heck of a fighter. Cancer did not know who it was dealing with....





Another issue is that I lacked motivation at work. I was not, as the millennials would say: "feeling it..." Yep, I started to count down the days to retirement. Sadly, I cannot count that high, so I went through the motions. Hey, I did a good job each day, but my heart was not into it. I felt a bit empty.



Then the big kid was going through two surgeries and the loss of his baseball career. That's right. I am no longer Bullpen Mom....hence the new blog title of Movin' on.....He handled it well and stayed away from campus and baseball for a year. He wanted nothing to do with it as he figured out his next move....which is to go to law school. Yes, I said it....he really meant it...he wants to go to law school. In fact, as he is applying to schools up and down the east coast this week, I am reading his essays, which are pretty dang good.



With his athletic retirement, I was no longer traveling around the country. I was staying home and working out with my Biggest Loser team. I actually came in third. This was an amazing accomplishment for me, since I hate losing weight and would prefer a life in which I could eat anything I wanted and remain thin. Unfortunately, the body was not designed for unlimited Snickers bars, so I am rejoining Biggest Loser 2017 next week.




Furthermore, I believe that I may miss travels and baseball more than the big kid. In fact, I loved going to new places and watching the team play. it was such fun and a diversion from real life. I guess that I was living in a bubble and once baseball ended, I had not figured out what to do with myself. Now I know....I am going to write again and try to get my zest back for life and work.



So, now you know.....I was affected by life's events and really did not give a hoot about writing or myself. yet, I am back....and there will be more stories as we work toward law school entrance and three years of law school angst.....In the meantime, he is attending a local university and trying to earn a masters degree in criminal justice. Am I hearing from him? Oh yeah, since some of the courses are online, I can hear him shouting at the computer as he reads the posts from other students and cannot seem to earn a "A" in a course where he feels he deserves it. Guess what? You are no longer the big man on campus, so, enjoy your time as you figure out life the way the rest of the non cool crowd did...without a safety net.



And so, back to Simon and Garfunkel....as I listened to the words, I began to think more about how fluent Simon's lyrics are....in fact, I consider PS a poet. His ability to write is incredible....so I listen...and have become inspired to write again and share the struggles and non travels with readers. Some posts will be short. Some posts will be dry. At least you will know, that each word is the truth as no one can make up the things and events of my life. It's not possible.



And so, I have been asked to edit an essay for the big guy as he seeks admission into a law school...any law school....in this country.....the US.....

Peace!

PS: How about Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher? Dang. It's true. A person can die of a broken heart.



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